The Joys of having CF

The Joys of having CF

Friday, December 8, 2017

1 year-MIA’s been almost one whole year since I’ve blogged. I have absolutely no excuse other than the fact that I just simply didn’t. Which makes me feel bad for those who love reading. I promise I’m going to try my hardest to stay on top of blogging this next year-because quite frankly I LOVE doing it and I love writing! It’s a nice journal for myself to come and look back on; and if something I share can help one person that is all that matters. 

I’ve toyed with how I’m going to do this post and I’ve written drafts...and deleted them. But I think I finally have it how I want it.

Where to even begin...let’s just start where I left off. The beginning of the year. In January I started the year off with a hospital stay. Nothing major just the usual CF stuff, did home iv’s got better and went on with things. Nothing to exciting happened the first few months of the year. my sister had another baby so i now have a nephew and a new niece. That was exciting. 

Then the year kind of went crazy. For those of you who’ve followed me for quite some time you know I’m pretty much an open book when it comes to my health but there’s some personal elements I don’t share. Example: relationships/dating etc. 

Some stuff I believe is just better left private temporarily(don’t get me wrong-if/when I get engaged, married, and if I have kids-everyone will definitely know) :) but in the beginning things are sometimes better left “offline”. 

I say all that to say-I was in a relationship for about a year that I thought was going good and long story short it ended(it wasn’t mutual-and not my choice) left me feeling  lost...things weren’t the same. It wasn’t what I wanted. And I kinda just didn’t understand.  
You know these things happen all the time-but not to me-it’s not something I take lightly. I’m the girl who wears my heart on my sleeve and would do anything for anyone! I’m the “strong” one. I’m a fighter. I take on CF everyday-but this was different. It kind of threw me for a loop. 

I did a lot of praying and I know I have my grandpa watching over me and I know everything happens for a reason-even if I don’t understand it then. God knows exactly what he’s doing and I just have to trust in him. Everything’s in his hands and I know he wouldn’t let something happen without having a “backup” plan in the future. It’s a learning experience that I can say I’ve learned a LOT from. 

Next i did end up having another hospital stay in August just the same normal stuff...but then
Going forward from that I had a job opportunity come to me that was in South Dakota. Did I really want to up and move 10 hours away(not that far) to somewhere I didn’t know to many people? It was a good opportunity. My mom and I made many trips out there-climate wise with my health I felt Wonderful! Less humidity and I mean let’s face it the scenery is just beautiful. 
I decided I’d take it. Why not right? Risks and chances are a good thing. 
So I get everything all lined up...surprisingly everything goes extremely smoothly. Apartment, job, furniture, little odds and ends etc...all went well. 
So my parents and I packed everything up and we headed off. I was excited. It was going to be a new adventure for Bo & I.
We get out there and first the apartment wasn’t what I was told(but that could potentially be fixed). Then with the new job after messages and calls-it was confirmed things wouldn’t work out with the position. 
Now I was faced with two choices: 1) stay out there and hope and pray to find a job fast OR 2) get deposits back from apartment(they were extremely nice about everything) and come home and figure things out. 
After talking with my parents we decided 2 would be a good choice. So I came home and decided to just take a little time off- it was almost my birthday/the holidays. Then I got a small cold-but did get over that-thankfully.

So going ahead I’ve had some time off basically just getting re-situated. It’s been nice. My grandmother was extremely happy i ended up coming back home. But I did end up doing a 8 week CF medical study which was wonderful to get to do again-I used to do them more often. 

Now to current: I had a dr appt a few weeks ago and my PFT’s were down-a little more than normal. Not like usual. So I bartered with the dr. She wanted me to come home to my local dr to be admitted. I kind of begged her to let me try oral meds(which if you’ve followed a while you know I’m allergic to) but I wanted to be good for the holidays. She agreed. I did 10 days of bactrum and oh my goodness it kicked my butt. But I “temporarily” got better. Though I ended up missing thanksgiving which was kind of sad but I wanted to be great for Christmas. 
I followed up with my amazing local doctor. My PFT’s were up but I had to promise him that I would call if anything gets worse. I promised. 

Now we’re current :)  well tomorrow my amazing doctor will be getting a phone call to try to schedule an admission for next week. The antibiotic worked temporarily. Like a bandaid but symptoms have come back. It’s no big deal-I think whatever’s there just never really “disappeared” so we are going to figure out the best route and kick this thing.  I don’t mind admissions because I know if I wait to long things will escalate and that’s not good either. Plus it’s almost Christmas and we can’t be sick for Christmas. 

I apologize this was such a long post and I extremely apologize for going MIA for a year. I am going to try my hardest to not let it fall that far behind again. 
I love having this blog. Knowing i could potentially help someone means the world. This blog is kind of my out post. I love to write-I still keep journals and I love coming here to just write about anything and everything and then being able to look back for years to come. 

This year has been the most crazy, trying, kind of hard, yet rewarding year. Through all the craziness I’ve learned I trust God more than anything-more than I already thought. He is the only person who knows why everything happens but I trust in him that things only happen with a plan for a better future. I’ve learned that I am stronger and tougher than I thought. I’ve probably come to the “lowest” point I’ve been but the rebuild will be great. 
Having this little time off may be the best thing I needed. I have full confidence that my health will be much better next year. We’ll fix this! I pray that next year is amazing! It’s going to be a journey and a story but it’s going to be “my journey” and “my story” to share one day. It makes!

It’s shaping me into the person I will be; and I know with out a shadow of a doubt that as long as I have and continue to keep my faith in God...this journey may be crazy but definitely worth it! And I know everything will always be ok! Always :) 

Till next time!

~God Bless 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Farewell 2016

It's finally 2017. I usually write a letter at the end of each year, and this time I was having a hard time figuring out just exactly what to write. 
2016 was an odd year. It started out okay, then in May I had a hospital stay. In June I had a career change, and then come September things kind of became a blur. I had a hospital stay in September, my amazing grandfather went in the hospital and then October came in with a bad bang. On October 9th my hero, the most amazing man in the world gained his wings...that was the hardest day...I know he's an amazing angel looking down and I know he is pain free and living an amazing life in heaven. Just hanging out with all his friends, riding a tractor, enjoying his pipe. That's grandpa. 
Life kind of stopped after that a little. I think we all felt lost. When someone so amazing leaves your life you don't quite know what to do, but you manage. I'm just so thankful to have had him in my life for 21 years and been able to learn so much from him. He is my forever hero and angel. 
Then the end of October my grandmother passed away(my moms mom). That was a shock to loose two grandparents in one month. 
But as the motto goes; "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I know everything happens for a reason....and only God knows why. 
In November I turned 22...I had a little birthday adventure which was fun, then we had Thanksgiving. It was interesting being the first without grandpa. But we all managed. We new he was there with us. 
The brings us to December. I went to Vegas for the first time...that was fun. 
December is one of my favorite months because I absolutely love Christmas. I was so excited for Christmas up until Christmas Eve. After we celebrated one Christmas on Christmas Eve we drove passed grandpa and I kinda lost it a little bit. It was the first Christmas we wouldn't be seeing him at that table when we walk through the door. Wishing him merry Christmas at the cemetery just did not feel right. But, I KNOW he had an amazing time and was of course there with all of us. As the song goes, "I'm just jealous of the angels". 
But each day/month gets a little easier. It makes it easier reminding myself I have an amazing guardian angel looking down on me. 
Now into January, 2017. This year I am determined will be the Best.Year.Ever.  I am confident only good things will happen and I hope and pray it is a year that we'll remember forever. Less hospital stays(none preferably), and just making the most of  the time were given and spending it with those we love. 
2017...this will be an AMAZING! year.

Until next time,
~God Bless