The Joys of having CF

The Joys of having CF

Friday, December 8, 2017

1 year-MIA

MIA...it’s been almost one whole year since I’ve blogged. I have absolutely no excuse other than the fact that I just simply didn’t. Which makes me feel bad for those who love reading. I promise I’m going to try my hardest to stay on top of blogging this next year-because quite frankly I LOVE doing it and I love writing! It’s a nice journal for myself to come and look back on; and if something I share can help one person that is all that matters. 

I’ve toyed with how I’m going to do this post and I’ve written drafts...and deleted them. But I think I finally have it how I want it.

Where to even begin...let’s just start where I left off. The beginning of the year. In January I started the year off with a hospital stay. Nothing major just the usual CF stuff, did home iv’s got better and went on with things. Nothing to exciting happened the first few months of the year. my sister had another baby so i now have a nephew and a new niece. That was exciting. 

Then the year kind of went crazy. For those of you who’ve followed me for quite some time you know I’m pretty much an open book when it comes to my health but there’s some personal elements I don’t share. Example: relationships/dating etc. 

Some stuff I believe is just better left private temporarily(don’t get me wrong-if/when I get engaged, married, and if I have kids-everyone will definitely know) :) but in the beginning things are sometimes better left “offline”. 

I say all that to say-I was in a relationship for about a year that I thought was going good and long story short it ended(it wasn’t mutual-and not my choice)...it left me feeling  lost...things weren’t the same. It wasn’t what I wanted. And I kinda just didn’t understand.  
You know these things happen all the time-but not to me-it’s not something I take lightly. I’m the girl who wears my heart on my sleeve and would do anything for anyone! I’m the “strong” one. I’m a fighter. I take on CF everyday-but this was different. It kind of threw me for a loop. 

I did a lot of praying and I know I have my grandpa watching over me and I know everything happens for a reason-even if I don’t understand it then. God knows exactly what he’s doing and I just have to trust in him. Everything’s in his hands and I know he wouldn’t let something happen without having a “backup” plan in the future. It’s a learning experience that I can say I’ve learned a LOT from. 

Next i did end up having another hospital stay in August just the same normal stuff...but then
Going forward from that I had a job opportunity come to me that was in South Dakota. Did I really want to up and move 10 hours away(not that far) to somewhere I didn’t know to many people? It was a good opportunity. My mom and I made many trips out there-climate wise with my health I felt Wonderful! Less humidity and I mean let’s face it the scenery is just beautiful. 
I decided I’d take it. Why not right? Risks and chances are a good thing. 
So I get everything all lined up...surprisingly everything goes extremely smoothly. Apartment, job, furniture, little odds and ends etc...all went well. 
So my parents and I packed everything up and we headed off. I was excited. It was going to be a new adventure for Bo & I.
We get out there and first the apartment wasn’t what I was told(but that could potentially be fixed). Then with the new job after messages and calls-it was confirmed things wouldn’t work out with the position. 
Now I was faced with two choices: 1) stay out there and hope and pray to find a job fast OR 2) get deposits back from apartment(they were extremely nice about everything) and come home and figure things out. 
After talking with my parents we decided 2 would be a good choice. So I came home and decided to just take a little time off- it was almost my birthday/the holidays. Then I got a small cold-but did get over that-thankfully.

So going ahead I’ve had some time off basically just getting re-situated. It’s been nice. My grandmother was extremely happy i ended up coming back home. But I did end up doing a 8 week CF medical study which was wonderful to get to do again-I used to do them more often. 

Now to current: I had a dr appt a few weeks ago and my PFT’s were down-a little more than normal. Not like usual. So I bartered with the dr. She wanted me to come home to my local dr to be admitted. I kind of begged her to let me try oral meds(which if you’ve followed a while you know I’m allergic to) but I wanted to be good for the holidays. She agreed. I did 10 days of bactrum and oh my goodness it kicked my butt. But I “temporarily” got better. Though I ended up missing thanksgiving which was kind of sad but I wanted to be great for Christmas. 
I followed up with my amazing local doctor. My PFT’s were up but I had to promise him that I would call if anything gets worse. I promised. 

Now we’re current :)  well tomorrow my amazing doctor will be getting a phone call to try to schedule an admission for next week. The antibiotic worked temporarily. Like a bandaid but symptoms have come back. It’s no big deal-I think whatever’s there just never really “disappeared” so we are going to figure out the best route and kick this thing.  I don’t mind admissions because I know if I wait to long things will escalate and that’s not good either. Plus it’s almost Christmas and we can’t be sick for Christmas. 

I apologize this was such a long post and I extremely apologize for going MIA for a year. I am going to try my hardest to not let it fall that far behind again. 
I love having this blog. Knowing i could potentially help someone means the world. This blog is kind of my out post. I love to write-I still keep journals and I love coming here to just write about anything and everything and then being able to look back for years to come. 

This year has been the most crazy, trying, kind of hard, yet rewarding year. Through all the craziness I’ve learned I trust God more than anything-more than I already thought. He is the only person who knows why everything happens but I trust in him that things only happen with a plan for a better future. I’ve learned that I am stronger and tougher than I thought. I’ve probably come to the “lowest” point I’ve been but the rebuild will be great. 
Having this little time off may be the best thing I needed. I have full confidence that my health will be much better next year. We’ll fix this! I pray that next year is amazing! It’s going to be a journey and a story but it’s going to be “my journey” and “my story” to share one day. It makes me...me!

It’s shaping me into the person I will be; and I know with out a shadow of a doubt that as long as I have and continue to keep my faith in God...this journey may be crazy but definitely worth it! And I know everything will always be ok! Always :) 

Till next time!

~God Bless 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Farewell 2016

It's finally 2017. I usually write a letter at the end of each year, and this time I was having a hard time figuring out just exactly what to write. 
2016 was an odd year. It started out okay, then in May I had a hospital stay. In June I had a career change, and then come September things kind of became a blur. I had a hospital stay in September, my amazing grandfather went in the hospital and then October came in with a bad bang. On October 9th my hero, the most amazing man in the world gained his wings...that was the hardest day...I know he's an amazing angel looking down and I know he is pain free and living an amazing life in heaven. Just hanging out with all his friends, riding a tractor, enjoying his pipe. That's grandpa. 
Life kind of stopped after that a little. I think we all felt lost. When someone so amazing leaves your life you don't quite know what to do, but you manage. I'm just so thankful to have had him in my life for 21 years and been able to learn so much from him. He is my forever hero and angel. 
Then the end of October my grandmother passed away(my moms mom). That was a shock to loose two grandparents in one month. 
But as the motto goes; "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I know everything happens for a reason....and only God knows why. 
In November I turned 22...I had a little birthday adventure which was fun, then we had Thanksgiving. It was interesting being the first without grandpa. But we all managed. We new he was there with us. 
The brings us to December. I went to Vegas for the first time...that was fun. 
December is one of my favorite months because I absolutely love Christmas. I was so excited for Christmas up until Christmas Eve. After we celebrated one Christmas on Christmas Eve we drove passed grandpa and I kinda lost it a little bit. It was the first Christmas we wouldn't be seeing him at that table when we walk through the door. Wishing him merry Christmas at the cemetery just did not feel right. But, I KNOW he had an amazing time and was of course there with all of us. As the song goes, "I'm just jealous of the angels". 
But each day/month gets a little easier. It makes it easier reminding myself I have an amazing guardian angel looking down on me. 
Now into January, 2017. This year I am determined will be the Best.Year.Ever.  I am confident only good things will happen and I hope and pray it is a year that we'll remember forever. Less hospital stays(none preferably), and just making the most of  the time were given and spending it with those we love. 
2017...this will be an AMAZING! year.

Until next time,
~God Bless 

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Almost the End

It is almost the end of 2016. To say I'm not a little happy would be a lie. It's been a year of change...
since I posted last we had more sad news. My moms mom(my grandma) passed away. Yea, two grandparents, one month.
It's been an interesting few weeks but we're making it. Things will get better.  Thanksgiving was a little hard, not having my grandpa there. Who new last year would be his last? But everything happens for a reason. I know I have a great guardian angel watching over me everyday.

But on the 12th I turned 22. I get excited for birthdays. I'm so thankful I get to keep proving statistics wrong. I know I've said it before but I was told I'd never graduate high school...so I celebrate each big life event.

Now tomorrow's December. One of my favorite months. Christmas. It's my favorite time of the year. It'll be different not having grandpa home for Christmas...but I know he'll be watching over us.
But, The joy you see in people, the happiness, just the spirit of Christmas, and spending time with family and remembering the true meaning of Christmas.
It doesn't get any better. I'm so excited for this month.

Lastly health wise I go to the doctor in a couple weeks. Fingers crossed things look good. I've still been feeling pretty good. So that's always good.

With that, happy start to the holiday season.

~God Bless

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Update & Tribute

I haven't posted for a while, and every time I've thought to, I can't think of the right words. I've been writing all my thoughts down, and tonight I was able to finally put it all down. 
3 weeks ago I got hospitalized...I hadn't felt 100% for a while, and I went in and sure enough there was a spot on my right upper lung(the usual). So I was in the hospital for 1 week and I've been on home IV's since I will be done this week. 
Thankfully I am feeling much better. 

But the biggest thing that happened was 1 week ago Sunday. Life changed. If you follow me on Facebook you probably saw my post, but a week ago my hero took his final breathe. 
If you've followed my blog for a while you'll know my grandfather was my hero. I've done many posts about him. He was such an amazing man. He got hospitalized while I was in the hospital, so as soon as I got discharged I went up by him. He slowly went downhill and Sunday October 9th, 2016 he peacefully took his final breathe and entered into an amazing life. At 93, he lived such a full life. His wisdom, examples, knowledge, but most of all love will never be forgotten. I learned so much from him...but most of all I learned never take life for granted, and always make the most of everything. He was a simple man, worked hard all his life. He didn't have much, but made the most of what he had. He loved his family. I could go on and on. 
To me he was my hero and I know he's watching over us. I keep saying I've cried so much, but all happy tears. I'm sad because I'm selfish and want him here, but I'm so happy that he is now living a pain free life, and with all his friends and family. It wasn't a goodbye, it was just a "see you later". 

So there's a little update as to where I've been. I'm getting really excited now that it's fall, one of my favorite times of the year but also the start to the holiday season. 

I will try to write soon. Till next time.
~God Bless 

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Perspective

It's been a while since I've done a blog post. 
This summer has been a fast one. In the blink of an eye it seemed as though June came and gone and now it's September. The start to my favorite Wisconsin season, fall. 
In the past couple months we celebrated my grandparents 68th wedding anniversary. Isn't that incredible?! 
It makes me so proud, and I only hope one day I become that lucky. I love my grandparents so much. 
For a while I've been having the same few thoughts going on, and I haven't quite known how to put all my thoughts down...until today. 
Perspective. Such a big yet simple word and yet so complicated. 
With having CF it's given me the great opportunity to see situations in a much different perspective. I always try to see the good in every situation. When things happen I examine them differently. When I get sick and go in the hospital-to me it's just another routine. When I think of the future I think short term then long term. When some think about reality I think about dreams. When others think about how bad something is I think of hope. 
CF has blessed me with having a different perspective on life. I try not to hold grudges, I try to get along with everyone. When I get sick and go into the hospital for me it's routine and I think about how the IV's will help and how I'll get better. When I think of the future I think short term then long. Short term because I don't want to miss ANYTHING! None of us know if tomorrow's promised for us but I want to take in everything I can and plan for the future. Sometimes reality is good but I choose to dream. I choose to give myself something to look forward to. Things to stay healthy for...hope. 
Sometimes we all forget to stop and smell the roses, but it's the kind of perspective we have in situations that make the biggest difference. 

I will be writing soon, I have a CF appointment next week, so my prayer is my numbers go up and I will update after. 

Till next time, ~God Bless

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

The Right Track

It's been a short minute since I've updated you all on how I'm doing and what's been going on. 

In my last post I was still in the hospital. I got discharged the next day(May 11), and I've been on home IV's ever since. Today I completed my final dose of anrtibiotics and got my PICC line taken out. That's a grand total of about 26 days on antibiotics. It's the longest I've been on IV's for quite a while and I think it was the best plan. 

The infectious disease doctor and my pulmonary doctors created the most affective plan and it worked great. For not being a CF center they do an amazing job. I still follow up at my CF center but all my other care is done at this clinic. The quality and level of care is amazing. The way they listen to me, and take into account how I feel on things means everything. The way they carefuly put plans in place, but then run them by me first, that shows me they truly care. 

During my appointment with my infectious disease Doctor today he re-informed me of some cultures they took and what all of them grew. First, I have stenotrophomonous(sp?) as usual, and I had staph. For now pseudamonous(sp?) is not growing. Next he told me that when I came in my white cell count was on the high side(meaning sign of possible infections or virus), which I new. Today it's back to normal. Lastly he said another blood culture they took(I don't remember the exact name) but it's something that measures the inflammation in your body(meaning signs of infection or virus as well). When I came in I was above 4...and he said average was 0-1 or something close. Today I'm 0.1. That's a sure sign there was not good things going on. 

As of this moment I feel good. My cough is now back to my normal. I'm no longer coughing up blood and only occasionally coughing things up. 
I had a follow up with my ENT and my polyp has shrunk way down, which is amazing. 
I feel like things are going in the right direction. 

During this month of IV's I made it a point of trying to make my life more simple. Cutting out certain things that I maybe didn't realize stress me out, or just switching things up. The less hectic the better, and also putting priorities first. 
I feel I'm on the right track with that as well. 

We also celebrated my grandpas 93rd birthday. I talk about him all the time. He's my true hero, and I'm so proud to call him my grandpa, and I'm so thankful I was able to spend his birthday with him. 
*his birthday lunch*

Lastly, I had a first last week. In 21 years of having CF I've never flown with IV's. For Mother's Day my present to my mom was a trip to Florida to visit her parents. This was planned in January. Tickets were bought. When I went in the hospital they assured me I wouldn't miss it. Well it was last week, and I made sure to call the airline, get the appropriate Doctor notes, and I can happily say I had no TSA issues. They looked at me a little weird, but there was no questions. I had a whole small carry on suitcase just full of IV's. 

It was a great trip, spending some time with my grandparents. 

And as of today, I'm officially IV free. 

Here's to another year of no IV's. 

Until next time. 

~God Bless 




Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Slowing Down

There's a lot to update on so let's get started. 
First, I'm still on my steroid regiment for my sinus polyps. This has been for almost three weeks now. It was going good at first, then i developed a cough...bad cough. Coughing tons of junk up. The only thing I could think of was maybe I had some kind of infection and the steroid just irritated it. So for the last few weeks I've been dealing with that. 
Then comes last week. Monday i woke up at 3 a.m. throwing up every little bit. I figured I was just coughing up so much stuff that even though I tried to spit it all out, it was affecting my stomach. 
Any ways after Monday I just wasn't myself. But I went back to work...very weak, not feeling good, not eating much. Wednesday was a bit better. Then Thursday I woke up at 5:30 for work, and I had a huge shooting pain in my upper right shoulder area. It was so bad I could hardly get out of bed. After I got up I couldnt stop coughing and I started coughing up blood. Not just steaks, chunks. That's when I knew, this isn't right. I called into work, called my doctor, and was able to get an appointment. 
Going into this appointment I had no idea of what was going to happen, I kind of just wanted to make sure nothing worse was wrong. I got to the doctor, did blood work, did X-Ray, and saw my local nurse practitioner(the most wonderful lady ever). 
She then came into the room and said, "your white counts are a little high, there's new spots on the X-Ray, and I don't feel comfortable sending you home. Are you okay with staying?" 
My mom and I looked at each other, and I said "yeah". What am I going to say, no? 
This is a part of CF...things unexpectedly happen. You don't control it. So I came into the hospital, Friday I went down for a PICC line. I was promised the procedure would only take 10 minutes. Since last time was 3+ hours. They told me they have this new doctor, and he also specializes in veins. I was apprehensive but was on board. When I went down for the procedure once they started they discovered I had a blockage in my arm(likely the issues from last time), so he asked me if I was ok if he fixed it. I said of course...and he assured me it wouldn't hurt...so then I had an angioplasty. It worked, didn't hurt, and after that the PICC took 10 minutes. Start to finish less than an hour. The doctor felt bad and said if I would have had an angioplasty a few times before I probably wouldn't have that issue. He was amazing. 
So here I am, it is Tuesday night. Waiting to hear back on culture results(possibly tomorrow) then I get to come home on home IV's for 2-3 weeks. We've been trying to get the correct IV meds, and the best plan of attack before I bust out. 
We've also adjusted a few medicines that are resistant of a few bugs I'm growing. 
I've been extremely happy with my hospital stay, the care and concern is amazing, especially for not being a CF clinic. They really care about making sure the best plan is in place all the way around. 
I can honestly say I haven't really felt this good in months. I must have had something growing and just didn't realize. I am so excited to continue the next few weeks and get my lungs healthy. 
And in honor of CF awarness month I made it 10 months without an admission. 
In the end as I finish writing tonight, I really think this is Gods sign to me to stop and slow down. The last few months have been a little crazy, and at some point you have to just slow down, and I think this is Gods secret plan...and its exactly what I'm going to do. I'm stopping, relaxing, slowing down, and focusing on my health. My number one priority. 
I will update soon! Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers! 
~God Bless