Dear 2018-My Letter to 2018:

New Adventure

This post is coming about week after I started. “New Adventure” and I wanted to share it with all of you. It kind of piggybacks/goes along with my blog.
Biggest question: is the blog going away? Absolutely NOT! I enjoy having this blog/writing way to much.
So here is the information on my new venture: from blogger to now VLOGGER!
I’m so excited to share this. It is a longtime coming.
Here is my initial “launch post” If you may call it that:

~the biggest risk; is not taking any~ 

I decided to finally do something I’ve talked about for years. I am excited to share this new fun adventure and hope my story can help even just one person. #cysticfibrosis #thankful #grateful #blessed

Here’s is the link to my first video: https://youtu.be/4S5M-cYW90U

I hope to post at least one video a week and I can’t wait to share my story with everyone on all platforms. 

I hope you all enjoy.  

~God Bless 

More than A Number

More than a Number.

For those who know me know that in general I love celebrations, whether it’s a birthday, a holiday or special occasion. Any reason to celebrate I do.

Those who know me also know that October-December are my absolute favorite months of the year. October because let’s face it here in the Midwest the leaves start turning, and its Fall. 

November, because it’s my birthday and Thanksgiving, and December because it’s Christmas.

To me those are the three most wonderful months of the year.

Now we’re into November. My birthday month.

You hear people talk about how age is “just a number”, but to me its way more than that.

November signifies a lot of different meanings for me.

On November 12^th I was born…my parents were told four months later that I wouldn’t live to see kindergarten-let alone make it home from the hospital. That right that’s a big label put on someone so young, and from that it grew. 

The first 3 years of my life I was in the hospital more than I was out. My mom and I spent more time in a hospital away from my dad and sisters than at home. My mom in those first 3 years…NEVER left my side for a second. My dad worked as much as he could and would visit when he could.

I think of that time “lost” as some would say. But then I look at the time “given” back to make more memories.

In those first 3 years my parents sacrificed everything for me! If it wasn’t for them; my mom staying with me and my dad working so hard to keep insurance for me…I don’t know if I would be here. In those first 3 years, medical staff became family. I came close to spending many holidays in the hospital. Doctors did everything…and for that I am forever grateful.

In 24 years; I’ve had more IV’s, blood draws, tests, x-rays, and antibiotics than one can even count.

Just an example; I’d be in the hospital about 2 weeks of every month…that’s 12 PICC lines in 3 years is approx. 36 PICC line’s by the age of 3, and approx. 2 a year after that so all together we’re looking at approximately 76 PICC lines…is that even possible? I’m probably off on the number but that’s just an idea.

Those roughly 76 PICC lines have literallySAVED my life time and time again, and they continue to keep me healthy so I can keep seeing each next year and making memories, and living as normal life as possible.

For me, November signifies all of the obstacles I’ve overcome. All the statistics I’ve outlived. All the things I was told I couldn’t/shouldn’t do that  I’ve done.

Every year is one more year that me and these beautiful lungs have fought…& survived. So for me every year is More than “just” a Number.

Each year is one more year I’ve “beat the odds” as some would say. A few obstacles these lungs and I have overcome so far:

-not making it to Kindergarten

-not making it to 16

-not getting a feeding tube

-not having sinus surgery

-not seeing graduation

You get the point. At this point I don’t look so much as what I’ve overcome rather than what can I achieve next.

Overcoming/outliving statistics is great, but looking ahead is just exciting. I get more excited thinking and dreaming about the future like getting married and having a family. The simple things. All I’ve ever dreamed of is being happy and healthy and living a nice, simple life, and getting to be a wife and hopefully a mom.

My dreams aren’t outrageous. They’re practical. Everyone dreams of them. For me…they hold a special place in my heart & are just a little extra special.

In a few short days I’ll be 24, and I can’t wait to see what this year holds.

“life’s not the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away”

~God Bless

Just “Being”

It’s been about a year again…in my last post I said there was no reason for not writing other than I didn’t and that’s simply the only reason.

There’s been so many things I’ve thought about writing about and today I decided…Just Stop! & Write.

Writing for me is therapeutic. I enjoy it immensely.

This past year I’ve kind of just focused on “Being”.

Being Present, Being grateful, Being appreciative, Being Thankful, Being Giving. Just “Being”.

I’ve taken things slower. I’ve stopped to smell the “fresh cut hay.” (the country girl in me) J

I’ve focused more on others. I’ve focused more on myself. I’ve focused on being a better person and not sweating the small stuff.

This past year I’ve tried to be more Thankful.

Just “Being” is what I’ve noticed this year’s been about, and part of that is health wise.

Truthfully how is my health?

Honestly not as good as it should be…but it’s getting better.

My lung functions slowly declined a little bit.  I’ve done a few rounds of oral antibiotics; and im currently finishing up IV meds. It had been 9 months(which is the longest in between hospital stays in a long time). I go back to the doctor soon to re-test my lung function but I canhonestly say as I sit here right now…I feel Great!

My lungs were hurting-not many people knew. It was time, my lungs had finally had enough and so did I.

I’m so thankful for the new doctor I had who took over for my doctor who left. I’ve never met/had a more sincere doctor but strict. And of course the nurses; I can never thank them enough. Sometimes having others; such as your parents(never in my life has my father insisted I go into the hospital), nurses and doctors care more for you than you sometimes care for yourself; makes you stop & just think & remember how blessed you really are-and makes you remember who/what really matters.

Along with “just Being” I’ve thought about all the experiences I’ve had/been through…specifically because I had a nurse ask me: “does it get harder as you get older?”, and that made me stop and think. My First response was, “Kind of”.

Sometimes yes because when you go through an experience/procedure it’s like second nature and you don’t think about it till after and how it’ll affect you…you just do it because you know it’s to help those beautiful lungs you’ve been given. 

Sometimes yes because it’s so second nature that even when others say they understand, sometimes they choose the easy path & leave…which is ok.

Sometimes yes because people say: you’re brave, or strong, or you’re a fighter & when things get hard or happen you don’t want to let others down.

BUT! On the other hand: Not at All!

I know those that “get it” will always be there & are there to support me.  I know after all these years how my body is. I know what to expect.

I also know who to “let in”.

But the main thing is I know my faith and myself.

Over the last few years I’ve learned to be true to myself and my faith and that’s all that matters. That will get me through anything…& it brings so much hope for the future.

I have so many dreams I WILL achieve & want to achieve; that by having my faith and being true to myself they’ll ALL come true.

So yes, that means I am brave. I am strong. I am a fighter-who fights every day for my future.

I fight for these beautiful lungs I’ve been blessed with.

I fight for my health.

I fight for my future husband…whoever that may be.

I fight for my future kids.

I fight this beautiful battle everyday…and there’s nothing else I’d rather do.

It’s Me. It’s who I am. It’s my Perfect Normal!

So my second response: does it get harder as I get older? Yes, but that’s ok. I’m part of an amazing life. An amazing fight that I will WIN!

Like I’ve said in the past; these beautiful lungs and I have so much life to live.

It’s me “Just Being”.

Well now that I’ve made this long enough…I haven’t gone anywhere, nor do I intend to & I can’t wait to see what this future holds.

Life happens.

God may knock me down way more times than I’d like but each time I get back up…I’m just one step closer to my dreams, which are just part of a small fight that Im going to Win.

“God Didn’t Make Junk”

…and I am so blessed, and thankful for this life, even though all the hard times and experiences. They shape me into the person I am, and will become. And prepare me for an amazing life I will live.

It’s part of “Just Being”

~God Bless