It’s been about a year again…in my last post I said there was no reason for not writing other than I didn’t and that’s simply the only reason.
There’s been so many things I’ve thought about writing about and today I decided…Just Stop! & Write.
Writing for me is therapeutic. I enjoy it immensely.
This past year I’ve kind of just focused on “Being”.
Being Present, Being grateful, Being appreciative, Being Thankful, Being Giving. Just “Being”.
I’ve taken things slower. I’ve stopped to smell the “fresh cut hay.” (the country girl in me) J
I’ve focused more on others. I’ve focused more on myself. I’ve focused on being a better person and not sweating the small stuff.
This past year I’ve tried to be more Thankful.
Just “Being” is what I’ve noticed this year’s been about, and part of that is health wise.
Truthfully how is my health?
Honestly not as good as it should be…but it’s getting better.
My lung functions slowly declined a little bit. I’ve done a few rounds of oral antibiotics; and im currently finishing up IV meds. It had been 9 months(which is the longest in between hospital stays in a long time). I go back to the doctor soon to re-test my lung function but I canhonestly say as I sit here right now…I feel Great!
My lungs were hurting-not many people knew. It was time, my lungs had finally had enough and so did I.
I’m so thankful for the new doctor I had who took over for my doctor who left. I’ve never met/had a more sincere doctor but strict. And of course the nurses; I can never thank them enough. Sometimes having others; such as your parents(never in my life has my father insisted I go into the hospital), nurses and doctors care more for you than you sometimes care for yourself; makes you stop & just think & remember how blessed you really are-and makes you remember who/what really matters.
Along with “just Being” I’ve thought about all the experiences I’ve had/been through…specifically because I had a nurse ask me: “does it get harder as you get older?”, and that made me stop and think. My First response was, “Kind of”.
Sometimes yes because when you go through an experience/procedure it’s like second nature and you don’t think about it till after and how it’ll affect you…you just do it because you know it’s to help those beautiful lungs you’ve been given.
Sometimes yes because it’s so second nature that even when others say they understand, sometimes they choose the easy path & leave…which is ok.
Sometimes yes because people say: you’re brave, or strong, or you’re a fighter & when things get hard or happen you don’t want to let others down.
BUT! On the other hand: Not at All!
I know those that “get it” will always be there & are there to support me. I know after all these years how my body is. I know what to expect.
I also know who to “let in”.
But the main thing is I know my faith and myself.
Over the last few years I’ve learned to be true to myself and my faith and that’s all that matters. That will get me through anything…& it brings so much hope for the future.
I have so many dreams I WILL achieve & want to achieve; that by having my faith and being true to myself they’ll ALL come true.
So yes, that means I am brave. I am strong. I am a fighter-who fights every day for my future.
I fight for these beautiful lungs I’ve been blessed with.
I fight for my health.
I fight for my future husband…whoever that may be.
I fight for my future kids.
I fight this beautiful battle everyday…and there’s nothing else I’d rather do.
It’s Me. It’s who I am. It’s my Perfect Normal!
So my second response: does it get harder as I get older? Yes, but that’s ok. I’m part of an amazing life. An amazing fight that I will WIN!
Like I’ve said in the past; these beautiful lungs and I have so much life to live.
It’s me “Just Being”.
Well now that I’ve made this long enough…I haven’t gone anywhere, nor do I intend to & I can’t wait to see what this future holds.
Life happens.
God may knock me down way more times than I’d like but each time I get back up…I’m just one step closer to my dreams, which are just part of a small fight that Im going to Win.
“God Didn’t Make Junk”
…and I am so blessed, and thankful for this life, even though all the hard times and experiences. They shape me into the person I am, and will become. And prepare me for an amazing life I will live.
It’s part of “Just Being”
~God Bless
